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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26182711">4st7lb</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Crying, Eating Disorders, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Trauma, spot the manic street preachers reference</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:02:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>477</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26182711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>jeremy’s body didn’t feel like his own anymore. the squip stripped him of all autonomy, and though it was gone, the feeling was hard to shake.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>4st7lb</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>jus a short little one shot bc i love to project :—) enjoy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>trapped inside himself.</p><p>jeremy’s body didn’t feel like his own anymore. the squip stripped him of all autonomy, and though it was gone, the feeling was hard to shake.</p><p>he hadn’t been eating much the past month or so. it gave him a sense of control, physical results, a sense of security. he could feel himself slipping away, he got weaker by the day, but he <i>needed<i> this, needed to feel like he owned his own body.</i></i></p><p>
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    <i><br/>
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</p><p>he glanced at himself in michael’s car window as they left school. a baggy cardigan hid his form for the most part, but he noticed his collarbones peaking out, skin stretched taught. he stared blankly for a moment, before opening the car door and hopping in.</p><p>“so my place or yours?” jeremy piped up. michael glanced over with a worried expression that turned jeremy’s stomach.</p><p>“jer, what’s up with you?” jeremy looked down. michael frowned. “jeremy.”</p><p>“i don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p>“i think you do. you know you can talk—“</p><p>“it’s not a big deal.” but it was, and jeremy knew it, and he couldn’t will away the stinging feeling in his eyes.</p><p>”jer, this is serious. i-if things got worse, which they will if it doesn’t stop, and i lose you, again—“</p><p>“please don’t.” he didn’t realize he was going to cry till he felt the wetness on his cheeks. he was still avoiding his friend’s gaze, but he couldn’t help the tears dropping on the car seat. michael’s heart sunk.</p><p>“hey, hey, it’s okay, i’m sorry, i’m sorry jeremy,” michael panicked, pulling him in close, gently kissing the top of his head. “i’m sorry, i know it’s hard. it’s all very hard. i’m just scared if- i don’t want things getting worse, i don’t, i don’t,” he choked out, his voice straining.</p><p>“i-i don’t know what to do. it doesn’t feel good, everything hurts, i-i just—“ jeremy sobbed into his shoulder. “i don’t want you to worry, i’m sorry i ever left you, that i ever got that stupid fucking... thing. i-i just don’t feel like- like myself anymore. god, it hurts, it hurts.” his voice grew hoarse. michael squeezed him tighter, he felt so small he was scared he’d shatter in his arms. he stroked his hair, shushing him.</p><p>“it’s okay, i forgive you, remember? i’m sorry i even brought that up. i love you, jer, i do, i just think you need help.”</p><p>“maybe...” jeremy sniffed, partly muffled by michael’s hoodie.</p><p>“we can head over to my place, look into what might work for you, okay? you’re gonna be okay.”</p><p>jeremy pulled back slightly. “okay.” he looked up at michael with doe eyes that just melted his heart.</p><p>michael gave a weak smile.</p><p>“good. i love you man.”</p><p>“i love you too.”</p><p>
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    <i>they stayed leaned against each other a while, then finally headed off.</i>
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